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A great Christmas story would be about a young boy who develops an inexplicable distrust of Santa Claus.  On Christmas Eve, the boy laces a plate of cookies with cyanide in an effort to kill Santa, only to find his parents dead on the floor the following morning.  Assuming that Santa killed his mom and dad, the boy vows to get revenge.  As the years pass, the boy becomes a man and each Christmas Eve, he waits by the chimney with a loaded shotgun waiting for Santa to emerge so he can blow his brains out.  But Santa never comes so the boy just sits there each year waiting and waiting.  Year after year.  Also, there is this part where the doorbell rings and when the guy opens it, there are these two robot carolers.  It’s hilarious because the big robot sings in this really angelic high-pitched voice and the tiny robot sings in a deep baritone.  “Shouldn’t that be the other way around!?” you wonder.

Finally, it snows on the robots and the dampness of the flakes causes them to smoke and malfunction and they both start saying really controversial things.  The little robot is even like, “Fuck World War: Part 1!”  What!?  I don’t think so little robot guy - that war was important!

I would so go see that, but only if it was 3D IMAX.

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(Gefunden bei worship the glitch | via Tom Oatmeal)

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(Gefunden im Flickr-Photostream von Paul Malone)

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Seasons Greetings from CBS (1966):

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(Gefunden bei Scrubbles)

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The Franz Family, “Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel”:

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(Gefunden bei Like Cool)

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(Gefunden im Flickr-Photostream von Charm and Poise)

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